Psych-rock wannabes Devil’s Crossroad are “this close” to making it big. They’re proud representatives of UniSA with their dirty, long hair and open drug habits. Here’s what they had to say.
You describe your music as “Alternative Psychedelic Indie Punk Rock”. How do you manage to combine so many popular genres yet still sound so shit?
We were hoping to combine genres so the shitness would be harder to hear.
Some of your music even features dope rhymez by mad Adelaide rapper Emsee Entirety. How does it feel to know you’ve already sold out as a rock band but haven’t made any money from it?
We were looking forward to selling out so that we could settle down, buy a Lambo, buy a mansion, create a cosy heroin den and then come out with a musical masterpiece. But we don’t have any heroin and we don’t have a cosy den. Now we’re just addicts and can’t even pay for our problems. Maybe we celebrated too early?
Your mums told you to follow your dreams but in 5 years you’ll all be homeless. In retrospect, how will you see this advice?
Stefan: We’re already half way there. Nathan: I always figured I’d end up either being homeless or a drug dealer. Zac: I’ve been dreaming of this dream dumpster for ages, right behind KFC. It’s all happening for me. Kyle: There are some pretty hot homeless chicks, you know? So we can be like, (gruff voice) “We used to have a band five years ago, wanna bang?”
How will you survive when you realise that your band isn’t going to ‘make it’?
Zac: Prostitute Nathan on Hanson Road.
Nathan: Yeah, we’re going to have to dress me up with some really pretty make-up and just hope for the best. We’d probably end up making more money. Seems like the only real option we have.
Zac: Or making bracelets and selling them for exuberantly expensive prices to rich white girls at Coachella.
Is it true your bass player sometimes wears a kimono on stage and why is this surprisingly sexy?
Kyle: Because I’m wearing clothes for a change.
Nathan: It leaves a little to the imagination because once you’ve actually seen everything, it’s not that exciting.
Kyle: People have already seen me naked or in my underwear. So by seeing the outline of my junk in a kimono, it makes me look huge for an Asian dude.
Let’s play Kill, Fuck, Marry: Keith Richards, Beethoven, DJ Khalid. Go.
Kill: DJ Khalid. Nothing against him, but he’s a DJ. Fuck: Beethoven. His fetish was to fuck married women so he’d probably have a few Casanova tricks to show us in future.
Marry: Keith Richards. Even though he’d outlive all of us, we’d marry him for his drugs.
Finally, where can we catch your next gig? (I probably won’t attend.)
Our next show is on May 5th at Ancient World via Cobra Presents. Hope to catch some peeps there. Woo.
Words by Jordan Leovic