Wouldn’t it be nice to have just one perfect day? No guilt, no burden, no stress. Annie Vaughton writes about 24 hours of bliss.
Imagine a day without question…can you?
A glorious, blissful day of just being. A day to feel pure joy without guilt sneaking up behind to pull the heavy black bag over your being, shutting out the warm glow of pleasure.
No question of worth… No question of how? When? Why?
A day without the ugly realisation of the pain you would cause others if only to stifle the pain within. Guilt, even now a watchdog at the gates of the prison, snarling, jaws letting forth fetid breath at the mere scent of escape.
Imagine a day without need for the numbing effect of alcohol, drugs or adrenaline. A day that lasts a whole day without fear of failure… Have I earned the imprints I’ve left on this soil today? Have I done enough to make up for the oxygen I greedily inhale, the food I consume and the resources I so readily gobble and hoard from others surely more deserving?
Hmmm… Imagine a song without question. A sad, mellow, song yes, but just that… A song. A collection of words and feelings bound together with the simple strings of tune. Lyrics accepted as such and not interpreted as a potential eulogy, an explanation of a life wasted, a lost soul adrift on a river of self-loathing.
Alas guilt barks again… Is this self-pity straining to be heard? Would everyone gather to say, how sad, perhaps she is better off, and feel better themselves, or would such a selfish act be seen as just that?
Imagine a day of spontaneity! No hiding behind the order of neatly stacked shelves to disguise the disorder within. The jumbled thoughts, the worries, the fears… The questions.
A place for everything and everything in its place. A sergeant at arms, at attention, forever wary.
Imagine a day of standing before a mirror without seeing ugliness, shame hidden behind a hastily fastened towel.
Imagine a good deed done selflessly not out of the selfish desire to be seen as “good” by others as well as oneself.
Imagine liking yourself and not worrying if others will like you too.
Imagine a day of clear skies, soft breeze and the horizon clearly in view.
Imagine a day without question… Can I?
Words By Annie Vaughton