Adult Entertainment Store Reviews

“Adult store not sex store” – sex shop owners.

Eve’s Adult Emporium

Exterior: Been to a show at the Gov or Entertainment Centre? Drop by, it’s open much later than its rivals. Hard to miss it. It’s got a massive fucking pink neon heart protruding the shop.

Interior: Cashier basically leapt at us as we entered. It was like she hadn’t had human contact in months. Super friendly though if you hadn’t been taken aback by her overly eager greeting. If you haven’t discovered the internet yet and are still living in the dinosaur porn age, this is the place to be. Hundreds of DVDs, disappointing range of other goods. Also, you can’t leave without the cashier’s permission, the automatic sliding door locks behind you.

DNM Adult Products

Exterior: Rundown backstreet store. Black painted building showcasing only a few lingerie wearing mannequins. Bearded old bloke staring us down as we walked in. Tick tick tick. Well at least it lives up to the seedy sex shop stereotypes.

Interior: Sunglasses recommended. I don’t know what I was expecting but it wasn’t such harsh lighting and white tiles. It felt like I was in a chemist. Conveniently, the store was split clearly into female and male products so at least you could attempt to browse the small store crammed with way too much stock. Good range. Cashier seemed friendly enough had he not been intensely watching us the entire time. Did he even blink?

The Vibe Adult Shop

Exterior: Bold pink painted building. Looks as though it was once a Housing Trust home owned by a little old woman now turned sex den.

Interior: Entered through the backdoor (pun not intended) due to free carparking. Definitely was an apartment at some point. Navigating the tiny lino lined hallways, we were greeted by the owner ushering us into the actual (tiny) shop floor. He looked like one half of those sweet old couples ya’know (except clearly with a raging sex life surely). Super welcoming. Didn’t hover over us but still offered assistance if we so needed it. A much more comfortable shopping experience. Would shop again if only online shopping wasn’t so convenient.

Adults R Us

Exterior: The fact this store’s name plays on the popular kid’s toy shop, Toys R Us, makes me super uncomfortable. Like children and sex toys do not need a link thanks. Also, why are the majority of sex stores entirely painted black?

Interior: Another burley bearded cashier again staring us down. I get you must have high rates of theft (especially with some of the prices phwooooar) but making your customers feel like criminals, nah. He didn’t even acknowledge us when we waved him goodbye. I may have shed a solidary tear. Range was decent, but we couldn’t reach the board games. Sad times.


Black Knight Erotica

Exterior: You’ve probably been living under a rock if you haven’t been made aware of the advertising this place does. Biggest sex shop in Adelaide with a giant warehouse on the main road.

Interior: Impressive range of goods – basically every ‘sexy’ costume under the sun. Even a large range of edible goods like penis shaped lollipops, chocolate body paint, etc. The 17? penis was a bit extreme though. Do people even use them?

Anyhow, the cashier was so bloody rude and condescending that none of this mattered. Her initial tone with us when checking IDs (the first store to do so actually) and giving us the ‘no phones’ spiel was unnecessary and made me feel totally inferior. Nah, I don’t rate it.

Words by Bridget Kerry.

Images by Rachael Sharman.


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