1
Reasons
A long train of excuses
Running on the rail of defence
Its loads are:
Running out of time
Having no chances to tell
Being too tired to make it up
I am a disappointed passenger
Sitting on a brown cold seat
of an empty wagon
my brain was instantly switched off
your long train of excuses
does not even have my name
on one of its passenger lists
2
Sorry
You’re sorry for not doing
what you’re supposed to do
you’re sorry for not making
a situation better
instead of being sorry
for hurting me
And I have to say “I forgive you”
And when I say I do
That means I don’t need to elaborate
What happened actually
Or how I felt really
It was bragging – in your dictionary
So when I do explain about how I feel
It makes you feel guilty,
and I have to say sorry
3
Understand me
You said that as if I selfish if I did not accept your apology
In the most instant way that you want it to be
There was a long train in me
And the passengers are
disappointment,
rejection,
disapproval
waiting too long
to be served
to mend
to treat
to recuperate
to recover
So I am sitting in your wagon
While walking in a train of my mind
My train is busy serving its passenger
One by one, sweet and kind
Rushing, each passenger should be quickly fine
In this very moment, they cannot whine
I breathe
and I hope my passengers are calm
or deeply hurt
or deeply numb
who can tell?
I am getting back to my cold brown leather seat
Your train is still running
My tears are still falling
You go back to sequence number two
And to cover my wound, I said “I forgive you”
Words by Arnis Silvia
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