By Samuel Smith
I met Jake in one of my creative communication classes. Trying to strike up some incredibly awkward and ridiculously uncomfortable first lesson banter, I turned to him and asked the usual questions.
“So, what course are you doing?” “Enjoying it so far?” “OH (said as if I was genuinely surprised) you’re a third year too!?”
And then, the employment question. “What do I do? I edit UniLife Magazine and work at Big W,” I replied, hoping Job A would cancel out some of Job B’s social stigma. “What do you do?” I asked. “Oh, I work at a sex shop,” replied Jake, casually.
Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not very good with emotions. While I thought I was conveying an ‘Oh, that’s cool man, I’m a laid back dude; I find that kinda shit totally normal and I don’t feel uncomfortable at all’ kinda vibe, my face probably resembled that of a dying antelope.
The conversation ended at this point. I had malfunctioned in a big way, and throughout the rest of the class I said nothing. It wasn’t till the following week that I mustered up the courage to ask for an interview.
“I’m a bit nervous actually,” said Jake. He didn’t want people to think he was sleazy.
“You don’t seem sleazy at all, and it’s not like you actually bought anything from the shop!” I reassured.
I was met with a blank stare.
“OH but…uh…even if you had…um…well that wouldn’t be…bad…either.” I had somehow managed to mess it up again and was half expecting Jake to get up and leave.
But once I collected myself, Jake opened up. He said he got into the profession three years ago when he was 19. After quitting his engineering degree, he was at a loss for money and fell in with “a bad crowd” who apparently did drugs and bashed random people up for “fun”.
His best friend’s girlfriend worked in a sex shop and said they were looking to hire. When I questioned him about his decision to apply, he replied: “Compared to the shit my other friends were doing, working at a sex shop seemed pretty tame.” Resisting the urge to feign coolness/understanding by dropping a line such as, “Yeah man, I know it’s a fucking crazy world out there,” I moved swiftly along.
According to Jake, the worst part about working in the sex shop was its personal section. “It was soul-destroyingly depressing,” he said. “There was a pin board at the back of the shop and people would post their personal ads there.”
Jake said the ads ranged from “Man seeks woman for partnership”, to “Transexual bisexual hooker looking for same”.
He laughed, “Sometimes people would come up to the front counter and ask me to help write their personal ads. When I’d ask them ‘Well, what are you into?’ they’d reply ‘Bondage, leather, three ways’ and I’d have to explain ‘No, no I mean like…what bands are you into? What are your hobbies?’”
“At first, it was a very depressing job,” Jake said. “But after a while I got used to it, and it’s like…you know these places will exist whether you work at one or not, so you kind of just adapt.”
“You’d get people stealing the weirdest things though – vibrators, blow up dolls, all that kind of stuff,” he said.
“And it was like…is there even any point stopping you? You’ve sunk so low that you’re stealing a Miss Piggy themed vibrator, how can I reduce your dignity any further?”
As the interview drew to a close, Jake told me that he recently handed in his letter of resignation. While admittedly he was happy to “get the hell out”, he said that he’d never forget his workmates.
“I’ve worked with some weirdos, but I’ve also worked with some really interesting people,” he said. “They’re people who are often overlooked, and actually have some pretty interesting things to say. I guess at the end of the day, when you work at a sex shop you kind of experience a lot of prejudice, and in a way that forces you to bond with your workmates.”
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2 Comments
Hi Jess,
First of all, I am sorry that my article offended you. My intention wasn’t to portray anyone as sleazy. It was to portray ‘Jake’ as a uni student who just happens to work part time in a sex shop, and myself (the interviewer), as awkward, naive and clueless.
I know that there is a stereotype surrounding people who work in sex shops, and my intention was to show that they are not, in fact, sleazy. The purpose of my personal comment about “not buying anything from the shop” was to highlight my own personal cluelessness. While I’m sure it is a legitimate career move, it just so happens that the person I interviewed was only part of the industry for the purpose of casual employment.
I can see how my “awkwardness” may have come across, but it is purely my own issue. Never did I push an agenda about sex being taboo or embarrassing. I think people should be creative with their sex lives, discuss sex openly, and I don’t really know how mundane sex which just involves “man on girl” (?) relates to the article at all.
I was really excited to read this article after seeing the title. I thought to myself ‘yay, an article about sex shops. It might have some interesting anecdotes and information’. Unfortunately I was met with an incredibly judgmental article. You are portraying anyone who shops at a sex shop as sleazy. That only the bottom of society is attracted to this sort of shop. You are also implying that it is not a legitimate career move. I know people in the industry who are interested in creating a place that allows individuals to explore and be creative in their sex lives. The line “You don’t seem sleazy at all, and it’s not like you actually bought anything from the shop!” also implies that if anyone was to buy something from a sex shop that can automatically be classified as sleazy. Not everyone wants to have mundane sex, which involves man on girl and that is it. Sex is more than that. This article only perpetuates the conservative nature of Adelaide in relation to sex. That it’s a bad thing and people should not talk about it. And if they do it has to as uncomfortable as this interview evidently was. If only people could be more open about this sort thing, then maybe people, especially inexperienced teenagers, could verbalise what they want, discuss sex more openly with parents and during sex ed rather then it being something that is embarrassing or taboo.