RECIPE: APPLE CHEW VODKA

By Silvia Josipovic

Artwork by Josh Evans

Looking for a more creative way of getting your two and five? Or perhaps you’re just after more delicious means of getting outrageously drunk on a budget?

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Apple Chew Vodka—one of my quickest and all-time favourite homebrews. What are Apple Chews, you say? SHAME ON YOU. Only the greatest lolly there ever was ever. And today, we unite them with an old friend: alcohol.

In reaching Apple Chew Nirvana, you will require:
1x bag of Apple Chews (a little hard to come by these days, but I have it on good authority—my own authority, in fact—that a number of Drakes supermarkets still sell them)
1x bottle of vodka
1x bottle of lemonade
Some ice, ice, baby

To infuse the vodka with Apple Chew-y deliciousness, add as many lollies as you desire to the vodka. Of course, the more you add, and the longer you allow the lollies to stew in the spirit, the more intense the flavour. If patience is not your forté, half an hour usually achieves a pleasing result.

In mixing the drink, you must work to your taste. Fill a glass with some ice, add the vodka and Apple Chews, and add some lemonade. Voilà!

Sure, Heston Blumenthal would probably turn his nose up at the overwhelming simplicity of it, but dayum does it taste good.

You can thank me later.